FMA Meets Ouran
by PurpleMaple
Summary: During an investigation to help regain their bodies Edward, Alphonse, Colonel Mustang, and Lieutenant Hawkeye accidentally tamper with a mad man's Alchemy and end up with a crazy group of teenager's claiming to be from the prestigious Ouran High School. Shenanigans ensue. Multiple implied ships (Royai, Edwin, Tamaharu).
1. Chapter 1

A fic written for my friend Allisontherumorhargreeves. It's going to be hetic when these two worlds collide. Hope you all enjoy!

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"Winry, don't hit me with that wrench again!"

"I wouldn't if you would keep your automail in shape, micro bean!"

"Who are you calling a micro bean, automail freak?!"

"We're at the command centre you two! Keep your voices down!" It didn't seem like either even heard Alphonse.

"Guess Fullmetal is here to receive his assignment." Mustang massaged his temples, preparing for the incoming storm.

"Go easy on them sir. They're still young." Hawkeye deposited a pile of paperwork on the corner of his desk and walked to stand behind him to the left.

"I'll go easy on him when he goes easy on me." Mustang took a glance over his shoulder and immediately tensed at the silent reminder that he was the adult in the situation and should act as such.

"Sir."

"Alright, Lieutenant. I get it! Quit looking at me like that!"

The Colonel huffed and turned his attention to the door while the commotion grew louder. He mentally braced himself as the door swung open, nearly hitting Breda on his way to lunch. Edward tromped in, his focus entirely on Winry as they continued to yell at each other. Alphonse was behind them, apologizing to Breda on his brother's behalf, then continued to act as the ringleader in trying to calm his brother and Winry down.

Mustang watched with a smirk as both Winry and Edward stopped in front of his desk, still bickering. He looked up at Alphonse and gave him a nod of acknowledgement before returning his attention to the commotion in front of him. Before he was able to call the teens out on their immaturity in a military office, a soft clearing of the throat from his left caused the bickering teens to stop immediately.

"_I really don't deserve her."_

"You always know how to announce your arrival, don't you Fullmetal?"

"Save it Colonel Bastard. Count yourself lucky that I'm even here to receive this damn mission."

Mustang raised his eyebrows at the teen's aggressive tone.

"I would have you know this mission may help you in what you're looking for. But I can always assign it to someone else if you deem it a waste of time."

This caught the young teens attention.

"And what exactly do you have for me?"

Mustang sat up in his chair and reached over to the drawer on his right. Pulling out a tan manila folder and placing it in front of him. When Edward went to reach for it, Mustang placed his hand down on it.

"What's the deal now?" Edward growled out.

"I'm sorry to say but this is classified information. I'm sorry to misplace you Miss Rockbell, would you kindly wait outside?"

Winry who had been silent during the whole exchange quickly straightened her posture.

"Oh! It's no problem Colonel."

"Thank you Miss Rockbell. The Lieutenant can escort you out and provide you with some drinks."

"There's no need! I can see myself out!" Winry shook her head in protest.

"It's quite alright Miss Rockbell," Mustang spoke as he waved his hand in dismissal. Hawkeye then moved from her position, a small smile on her face as she addressed the young teen.

"If you would follow me Winry. You as well Alphonse. I'm sure your brother can fill you in on details once it's over."

Winry and Alphonse quietly followed Hawkeye out the door. Leaving the two State Alchemists alone.

"Why you do always listen to her and do what she says without a fuss?" Mustang inquired once the door closed.

"Because she isn't a bastard like you." Edward spat as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Mustang simply shrugged his shoulders at the teen's remark before sliding the folder towards Edward.

"The MP's have recently arrested a rogue alchemist who was poking his nose around some local as well as military business."

"And what does this have to do with me? Sounds like this guy hasn't done anything wrong. "

"If you would let me finish Fullmetal I will tell you."

Edward rolled his eyes before returning to scanning the report in his hands.

"Like I was saying, he was arrested and his residence was searched. They found some strange alchemic notes there and asked for an alchemist's help." Mustang shrugged his shoulders again nonchalantly. "If the notes required an alchemist's attention, I thought it may interest you."

Edward looked up from the file and raised a golden eyebrow.

"And what exactly is in this for you?"

"Less paperwork. And it looks good on a report for promotion."

Edward seemed to contemplate the idea before responding.

"I'm bringing Alphonse with me."

"I have no problem with that. I'm bringing my Lieutenant along as well."

"WHY ARE YOU COMING ALONG?!" Edward shouted.

"Because I am your superior officer and I'm intrigued as to what this alchemist was trying to accomplish."

Mustang smirked as he watched the young teen sputter before him.

**Outside the office**

After Hawkeye closed the doors behind them, Alphonse and Winry made themselves comfortable on the visitor's couches as Hawkeye began to make tea.

"So what brings you to East City Winry?"

"Alphonse actually called me. He said he noticed Ed was limping a bit on his left side, and he knew Edward wouldn't call me for repairs until it was too late. So I came out here and surprised him before he could stop me."

"Good idea. I'm sure he wouldn't have let you know until he was right outside your door."

Hawkeye then turned around and carried a tray with cups and tea to the table. Handing one to Winry before sitting down herself.

"How have you been Miss Riza?"

Hawkeye thought for a moment, but before she could answer a yell echoed from the Colonel's office. She calmly sipped her tea while Winry looked at her with a confused expression. She then looked over at Al who was occupied with petting Hayate.

"Are they always this loud?"

"This is one of their calmer days," Hawkeye said as she gathered the empty teacups to be washed later.

As Hawkeye moved away Mustang's door swung open. The two soldiers marched out in a huff, neither looking pleased.

"Come on Al. We're heading out."

"We are heading out as well Lieutenant." The Colonel turned his attention to the young mechanic still sitting on the couch. "We can escort you back to your hotel Miss Rockbell if you wish."

"That would be great! Thank you Colonel Mustang, that is very polite of you." Winry responded happily, "At least he is enough of a gentleman to offer a ride instead of making me walk the 24 blocks to the hotel." Winry mumbled, but it didn't go underheard by a certain alchemist.

"I'm fifteen years old Winry... I CAN'T EVEN DRIVE!"

Before things could escalate further, Al dragged them both out of the office and into the hall, though Ed fought him much harder than Winry. Mustang followed behind them, setting his black overcoat around his shoulders.

"Breda-you're in charge while we're gone," Hawkeye called over her shoulder.

"Why Breda?! I've got seniority!" Havoc cried.

The First Lieutenant turned to face the offended officer with a raised eyebrow.

"Need I remind you of the sock incident, Second Lieutenant Havoc?"

Havoc immediately shrunk back into his chair while Breda, Falman, and Fuery tried to contain their amusement behind their work.

"No Hawkeye, I don't need the reminder."

Hawkeye flashed one of her small smiles, closing the door behind her to join the rowdy group down the hall.

-/-/-

"This place sure is a dump. You sure we have the right place?" Edward complained as he stared at the small house.

"This is the address Investigations gave me," Hawkeye said as she closed the car door behind her. "Though...I see what you mean by this place being in shambles."

The lawn was overgrown and littered with weeds. The front porch was worn and splintered from weather and neglect. The house needed a new coat of paint and multiple windows were broken, while the door itself was barely hanging on to the rusted hinges.

"I wonder if there is a ghost around here.."

"Don't joke about those kinds of things Brother!" Alphonse wrung his hands together. Hawkeye noticed and gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"Alphonse is right Fullmetal, you're a man of science. You know anything paranormal isn't real. And the man was arrested, he isn't dead."

"Way to be a buzz kill Colonel." Edward stormed into the home. Alphonse trailed behind him, though at a slower and more cautious pace.

Mustang turned to his adjutant as the boys entered the house.

"I'm not a buzz kill...right Lieutenant?"

Hawkeye just walked by, a picture of nonchalance.

"Way to have my back Lieutenant," Mustang grumbled, walking into the house by himself.

The hallways were poorly lit and there was a layer of dust covering the banister to the second floor, along with a small table by the door. Doorways branched off into what appeared to be a sitting room, a library and a kitchen. When Mustang entered the home he noticed that everyone was gathered in the library.

"I'm guessing you found something interesting?" Mustang walked into the room, his hands in his pockets.

"I think we found the reason why the MP's passed this onto the military sir."

When Mustang approached the group and looked he understood. A large transmutation circle was etched on the ground.

"What was he trying to do?" Alphonse commented as he walked around the edge of the transmutation circle.

"I have no clue," Edward said as he mirrored his brother in walking around the circle.

Hawkeye stood back and observed as the alchemists went to work.

"It appears to be something related to the body," Mustang said as he stared at one part of the circle.

"This part over here has to do with the soul."

"And this part with what appears to be... Time?"

The three alchemists exchanged a look of curiosity before looking back down at the circle.

"What does it mean?" Hawkeye interjected after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm not sure. But it's best if we don't tamper with it until we know exactly what it is, Fullmetal." When Mustang looked back up he could see Edward duck his hand behind his back.

"What makes you think I was going to do anything?"

He just received two literal and one metaphorical eyebrow arches from those around him.

"I wonder if he has anything else like this around the house…" Alphonse broke minutes of silence.

"We should take a look around. The Lieutenant and I will take the upper floors. Fullmetal, you and your brother search the rest of the rooms down here. But don't touch this circle." Mustang spoke over his shoulder, making sure he made eye contact with the blond teen.

"Heard you the first time, Colonel Bastard." Edward glared at his retreating back, marching in the direction of the kitchen. Alphonse just shook his head before following behind his brother. Mustang and Hawkeye left the room and made their way towards the stairs.

"Kid should count himself lucky I even invited him. Does he even know how many damage reports I've filled out for him?"

"I'm sure he does, sir. Edward just has a different way of expressing his feelings."

Mustang scoffed as he continued to ascend the stairs.

"With all his time spent travelling, you would think he would learn some manners."

Mustang continued to ascend the stairs but stopped when he felt a shift in the air, he turned around to face the bottom of the stairs and froze. A blue light shone through the doorway they just left. He saw his Lieutenants shoulders tense before she booked it down the stairs, him right on her heels. When they peeled around the corner they could see Edward crouched at the circle, his hands on the array. Alphonse was standing behind him, clearly trying to convince his brother to stop but Mustang and Hawkeye couldn't hear him over the sounds of the transmutation.

Mustang tried to walk around the circle to reach Edward but the alchemic light seemed to increase and a strong wind swept through the room. He felt a tug on the back of his black overcoat and was pulled behind his Lieutenant before the entire room was encased in blue light.

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Let me know what you think! Have a great day!


	2. Chapter 2

Life was busy, sorry for the long wait!

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"HARUHI! COME AND TRY ON THIS DRESS FOR DADDY!"

"No way Senpai."

"But Haruhi! I made sure our outfits for the Egyptian theme next week match! Would you please look?!"

Haruhi looked up from her textbook and blanched. The outfit was composed of a white cloth skirt that brushed the ground and a white crop top that would reveal WAY too much skin. The material was adorned with gold accents and beading with a matching gold headdress and sandals to complete the look.

"No way am I wearing that senpai. Find someone else."

Tamaki immediately dropped the garment and went to his corner to sulk. Haruhi simply rolled her eyes before returning to her homework.

The Host Club was closed for the week to go over reports and plan for the following week's festivities. They were done earlier than expected so they simply took the moment of silence to relax.

When Haruhi looked up from her textbook and looked around the room she could see Kyoya sitting across from her, his attention either focused on his computer or his calculator. Probably going over how much money they could spend on the dance party they were hosting in a few weeks.

Mori and Honey were sitting at a table a little ways away, Mori sipping some tea and reading while Honey was stuffing his face full of cake and sweets. The twins were in the corner with Tamaki, poking and prodding at him and spitting out their usual insults of "red cards" and "pervert". Overall just another day in the infamous Ouran Highschool Host Club.

It seemed that the twins teasing was able to bring Tamaki back to earth long enough for him to chase them to the other side of the room before sulking back over to the table Haruhi and Kyoya were sitting at. Tamaki sat in the unoccupied chair beside Kyoya and put his down with a thunk on the expensive mahogany.

"Mommy make the evil cousins go away and make our daughter wear the nice dress I got for her!"

"You know how our daughter is Daddy," Kyoya responded, never looking up from his computer. This received another groan from the sulking blond.

"_Why am I here again? Oh, that's right, I have to pay off a three million yen debt. Damn these rich people."_

"And you still have 2.1 million yen to go." Kyoya's voice cut through Haruhi's thoughts, causing her to withhold a jump of surprise.

"_The Shadow King has some scary powers." _

"Haru-chan!" Honey called from right beside her, his stuffed bunny clutched to his arms. Mori standing behind him, a plate in his hands. Haruhi never even heard them approach.

"We brought you strawberries," Mori spoke as he placed the plate down in front of her.

"We thought you looked upset so we saved the berries for you! We know how much you love them." Honey exclaimed.

"Ah, thank you Honey-senpai and Mori senpai." Haruhi graciously picked up one of the strawberries and took a bite. As soon as she finished her first strawberry and was reaching for another one she felt an eerie presence over her shoulder. She immediately sighed.

"What is it Hikaru and Kaoru." She deadpanned.

"Since you seem to be hungry,"

"And you seem to like berries so much.."

"Why don't you try this!" Both twins spoke in sync.

They pulled out an oval-shaped mass from behind their backs and practically shoved it into Haruhi's face. It appeared to be a fruit with a dark blue hue to it. With white and blood red splotches scattered throughout the tough looking skin.

"What kind of fruit is that Hika-chan?" Honey asked.

"We are not too sure." Hikaru shrugged his shoulders.

"We found it in a basket in the hall." Kaoru supplied.

"If you don't know what it is why would you give it to my daughter?!" Tamaki shouted, "It could be poisoned or what if Haruhi is allergic?! Do you want to kill her!?"

"Easy there sir, it's just a fruit," Hikaru said as he wrapped an arm around Haruhi's shoulders, his younger twin copying his motion.

"I would suggest returning that from where you found it you two."

"And why should we Kyoya?" Kaoru asked.

"It's just a piece of fruit," Hikaru commented.

"It seems to me you two didn't realize who exactly you took that from."

"If anything we were doing someone a favour since they just left it lying around."

Before Kyoya could respond a door on the far side of the room opened, drawing the Hosts attention. When the door fully opened there was nothing but darkness. A shadowy figure materialized out of the gloom.

"Ahh, there is my precious Zoobleberry. I was wondering where my underling misplaced it. Thank you for keeping it safe Hikaru and Kaoru." Nekozawa hissed as his cat Belzeneff bounced in his hands.

"What's a Zoobleberry?" Honey questioned, who had mysteriously climbed onto Mori's shoulders.

"No one knows the berries true origin, all I know is that it has been safely cultivated in the shadows of the mountains of Japan by my family for generations," Nekozawa explained.

"How come we have never heard about this or seen them in retail?" Tamaki questioned.

"The berry is said to be cursed." Nekozawa paused as he saw four of the Host club members pale while the others remained unimpressed. "We were going to use it as a sacrifice."

"Cursed? What do you mean by cursed?" Haruhi asked, completely unfazed.

"Cursed as in you will disappear from this world if you eat it. And brought to a world of sin."

"Jeez, kiss Kirimi with that mouth?" Hikaru spat as he turned back to harassing Tamaki.

Nekozawa started to go into detail about the fruits conception and its use in rituals while the Host club went back to their previous activities.

Haruhi looked at the Zoobleberry and picked it up in her hands, getting a closer look at the strange fruit.

"_I seriously doubt a fruit is capable of being anything more than being a bit sour."_

She glanced around the room at the other Host club members. Mori was reading a book while Honey enjoyed some more cake. Hikaru and Kaoru had returned to their antics and were bothering Tamaki, while the King himself was crying at Kyoya who shielded his annoyance behind the glare on his glasses, Nekozawa was still ranting in his shadowed doorway.

Haruhi took a small sniff of the fruit and glanced around again.

"_Let's see if this fruit is really cursed."_

Haruhi delicately bit into the rough looking skin and immediately scrunched her face at the taste. She ran her sleeve along her mouth before speaking out loud.

"That was actually quite sour." Haruhi looked up at those around her to see the entire Host club look at her with eyes wide.

"What are you all looking at?" She then looked down and saw the reason why. A circle of blue light was rapidly growing at her feet. She could have sworn she heard voices yell her name but the wind being generated drowned out everything around her. The last thing Haruhi remembers is the blinding blue light, a flash of white, then nothing.

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Hope you enjoyed! Have a great one!


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